The story of Toyota and the dummy.

No doubt if you’re reading this you are well aware of the woes of Toyota, the people who put the kamikaze back into driving. It brings to mind images of thousands upon thousands of Toyota drivers across the nation wrapping bandannas around their heads as they slip behind the steering wheels of their cars. If you’ve been off in a cave somewhere (like one of those soldiers lost on a Pacific island after WW2) you might not know what I’m talking about so let me bring you up to speed:

Many drivers filing complaints with Toyota and the government say their acceleration problems had nothing to do with floor mat interference or sticky gas pedals — the culprits the company is pointing to. Outside experts have suggested electronic problems.

Toyota has recalled 8.5 million vehicles, more than 6 million of them in the United States, mostly to fix problems with floor mats trapping gas pedals or with pedals getting stuck. Toyoda said great strides were being taken by his company to put “safety first” and it was working hard to refit the millions of cars and trucks that have been recalled.

 What amazes me is the unbelievable lack of driving skills exhibited by many of the people involved.

Say it with me people...

Neutral

Say it again...

Neutral

Once more...

NEUTRAL

Yes, let’s go over what those letters on the steering column or the center console mean once again for all of us who were napping during driver’s ed, shall we?

D means Drive

R means Reverse

P means Park

N means Neutral

When the car is in D it makes the car go forward by turning the wheels, some really complicated cars may even have a D1 or D2 (but most of you out there can get by without those).

When the car is in R the wheels turn backwards making the car go backwards but we really shouldn’t use R unless we’re trying to get into a parking space upon which we move the gear level to...

P which is where the shifter should be when the car is stopped as it locks the wheels and keeps the car from moving.

N, Neutral means the drivetrain is disengaged from the wheels entirely and while the engine may whine (or race) when the car is in Neutral is doesn’t matter how high the engine rpms are because none of that energy is being transmitted down the driveshaft and into the axle to turn the wheels (as it does in either R or D) so, whenever we have a problem where our engine is racing it’s always a good idea to move the lever into N.

N... like in Nimrod.

N... like in Numbnuts.

N... like in Noodnicks.

N... like in Nincompoops.

After the car is in N we gently apply the brakes until the car slows to a stop and then we turn the key to the off position. If we are on a highway when this happens, we should put on the flashers (actually putting on the flashers anytime this happens is a good idea).

So, that’s our basic automobile operation lesson for today. All you Toyota owners out there try and take it to heart.